You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize