You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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