i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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