dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
