I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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