So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
