Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
