I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm going to jail i love you
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
