Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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