You made me cry and you don't even care
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
