What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
