She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
