so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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