I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
