what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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