remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
