You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
