Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
