I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
