Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
