Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
