grandma shit on top of the toilet
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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