Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
even my farts smell like vagina
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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