i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
