i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
