My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
