why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
