Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
