PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
