I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
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What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
wow bdsm is so cute
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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