just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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