Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize