you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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