In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Mom said you looked used
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
