It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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