Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
