i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
