you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
foreskin is a definite game changer
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
