office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
