No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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