I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
