I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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