Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
