Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
North Korea, Best Korea!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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