so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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