I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
