i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
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I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
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Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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