I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
