I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
