Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
