You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
