My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
